Imus and Major Garett Have Similar Taste in Music

Imus was kind today to Fox News’s Chief White House Correspondent Major Garrett, who, like Chris Wallace, was not seated at Roger Ailes’s table at last night’s Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner in DC.

“I’m often seated at the children’s table,” said Garrett, who thought Vice President Joe Biden’s joke about Dick Morris flew over the heads of some of the younger attendees.

Imus assured Garrett that on this program, his goal is to make sure people of all ages know about former Clinton advisor Morris allegedly sucking on a prostitute’s toes.

Garrett thinks Rep. Dennis Kucinich changed his mind on health care reform because his constituency in Ohio wanted him to. “This is not a difficult vote for a Liberal/Progressive Democrat who says, ‘I want more but I’ll take what I can get,’” said Garrett.

The Democrats will likely vote to employ a legislative process known as “Deem and Pass” to get the bill through the House, meaning Speaker Pelosi will “deem” that the House has passed the Senate’s version of the bill. They’ll later vote on a separate bill that includes the changes made in the House.  

President Obama himself has stated, “If you vote on process, you’re voting on my legislation,” said Garrett.

Obama sat down for a combative interview with Fox’s Bret Baier last night. According to Garrett, some footage was omitted from the final cut.

“They edited out the part where the President smashed a chair over the back of Bret’s head,” he joked, referring to Obama’s obvious anger when Baier delved into the specifics of the process.

“He wants to talk about the policy gains, he wants to talk in very specific human terms about what he believes will be the great human benefit derived from universal health care coverage,” said Garrett. “He doesn’t want to talk about process, because process knocks him off message. The White House told me, ‘Every time he talks about process, we lose.’”

Since Garrett is obviously not carrying on an actual conversation with an inanimate structure, he means that people like White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told him about Obama’s dislike for procedural discussions.

“Process is internal, it’s rule-based, there’s no poetry in process whatsoever,” said Garrett, a big fan of poetry, specifically that of Van Morrison and John Hiatt. He went on about his love for not only Hiatt’s music, but for Hiatt the person, who is, “approachable,” “decent,” and “good-natured.”

To which Imus, who never over-extols the virtues of a musician he likes, replied, “Calm down, Major.”

-Julie Kanfer