Aaaaaaaahhh....Happy St. Patrick's Day, Everybody!

Though Chris “Mad Dog” Russo phoned it in literally this morning, he rarely does so in the figurative sense, keeping everybody at the Hard Rock Café in stitches today.

“I’ve been dead for two years, but I’m reincarnated!” he told Imus, picking up on a joke he obviously found hilarious the first time Imus said it back in October.

After almost five full days without power in his Connecticut home, Russo was bouncing off the walls this morning, raring to talk about Tiger Woods, the NCAA tournament, and baseball spring training.

Back in the day, Russo and his former life partner Mike Francesa would help Imus fill out his March Madness bracket. Those days long over, Russo wondered who the I-Man picked for his Final Four teams this year.

“Kansas, Kentucky, Duke, and Syracuse,” said Imus, naming all four number one seeds.

“Great job going out on a limb, Don!” Russo screeched. “Jesus!”

For the record, Mad Dog likes Kansas (a number one seed) to go all the way, and is looking forward to “a crazy three weeks.” Like Imus, Russo misses longtime sportscaster Billy Packer, whom CBS let go from their NCAA coverage a few years ago. Unlike Imus, Russo does not blame Jim Nantz for Packer’s departure.

 “If management came to me and said, ‘You’ve got to get rid of Bernie,’ I’d say, ‘You’ve got to get rid of me too,’” said Imus. “Either you have loyalty or you don’t.”

Russo was quick to note that when Imus was “let go” from WFAN a few years back, Charles hung around and continued to read the news for a few weeks.

“He didn’t have $100 million in the bank,” Imus observed.

Tiger Woods announced he’d return to golf to play in the Masters Tournament in a few weeks, but Russo doubts he’ll be a huge factor in the event. “I’m a little surprised he’s coming back, I’m a little down on him for that,” he said. “It’s too much.”

Word on the street is that Tiger has moved back in with his wife, a fate that would not befall Russo were he to cheat on and publicly humiliate his wife. “She’d cut you-know-what off!” he yelled. “I’d be dead!”

Russo recently spent a few days at baseball spring training, where he spoke with Mark McGwire in what Imus called “a kissy-face” interview, even though he did not hear it. 

“I asked him the questions you have to ask him; what am I going to do, kill him?” Russo asked. “If he didn’t tell Bob Costas, he’s not going to tell Chris Russo.”

One more thing before he goes: Russo did not agree with ESPN’s decision to punish Tony Kornheiser for criticizing his colleague Hannah Storm’s outfit. “If Kornheiser said something about somebody else who didn’t work for ESPN, you think he would have been suspended for two weeks?” Russo asked, then cried, “No! God, Don, no!”

Time to go. “Happy Hanukkah,” Imus told Russo. “We’ll see you next time.”

-Julie Kanfer