Could Fred Dicker Love His Job Any More Right Now?

Reporting live from "dysfunction junction," aka Albany, New York, Fred Dicker, the New York Post's State Editor, marveled at the seemingly never-ending stream of scandal emanating from the Governor's Mansion over the last few years.

"Every six months we seem to have another eruption of something," said Dicker. The latest features Governor David Paterson, about whom there have been widespread rumors of sex and drugs that would allegedly "Spitzer-ize" him.

But these stories, which originated with some New York Times reporters, don't seem to be much more than what Dicker has already reported in the New York Post.

"It may turn out that when they finally report something, and we expect that the Times should report tomorrow, that it will be anticlimactic after all that's come out in the last few days," said Dicker.

Reports surfaced a few weeks ago that a New York State Trooper caught Paterson snuggling in a closet at the Governor's Mansion with a woman who was not his wife. There have also been tales of Paterson "swinging" with certain women, and of him going on late-night double dates with a top aide and his girlfriend.

"His aides are saying they would believe anything he did," said Dicker. "They're also saying he disappears at times and they don't know where he is."

To which the always sensitive I-Man replied, "He doesn't know here he is. He's blind."

Imus has a congenial relationship with Paterson, who will be on this show tomorrow. He offered no defense, however, of these allegations, and neither have many Democrats; the only person to defend Paterson was Rick Lazio, the Republican candidate for Governor in New York, who told the Times to "put up or shut up."

"They don't trust [Paterson] at all," Dicker said of the Democrats and their lack of support, adding, "His word is no good."

He also repeatedly attacks the Democratic leaders in the state legislature, which impedes progress. "He said a few weeks ago, 'Judge me by what I say, not by what I do,'" said Dicker. "Who can believe that? He's accomplished so little here, no one wants to work with him. It's just a sad situation for the state."

Paterson also messed up last year by smearing Caroline Kennedy (and then denying having done so) on his way to appointing Kirsten Gillibrand to replace Hillary Clinton in the U.S. Senate. Now, fellow Democrat Harold Ford, Jr will probably challenge a weakened Gillibrand for her seat.

"Stay tuned," Dicker mused. "It's going to get even more exciting around here!"

-Julie Kanfer