The Deirdre Imus-Lis Wiehl Duo Is Trouble for the I-Man

Deirdre Imus and Lis Wiehl joined a grumpy Imus this morning to talk about marital communication issues, health care reform, and how four angry women glued some guy's wiener to his tummy.

Wiehl, a FOX News legal analyst, does not drop the F-bomb around the house as Dierdre often does, but told Imus that whatever tongue-lashing he got last night was probably deserved.

"She never wants to hear about anything I'm doing," whined the man who keeps a mirror nearby at all times to compulsively check on his hairstyle.

Wiehl's advice for Deirdre: "Break up with any guy who looks at himself more than you look at yourself."

Deirdre had some pearls of wisdom not just for Wiehl, but for the audience as well, advocating for parents to have Vitamin D levels checked in both their children and themselves.

"You can't overstate the importance of Vitamin D," said Deirdre, adding that doctors should perform much more extensive blood work on patients than they presently do.

Health care, she believes, should not be a "one size fits all" approach, something the Imuses witnessed firsthand when deciding how to treat the I-Man's prostate cancer. When they had asked one doctor they visited on their tour why radiation lasted for 11 weeks, his reply had been to say "that's the way we've always done it."

Wiehl explained, "That's the lawyers stepping in saying, 'You're going to be sued if you don't go with the maximum of 11 weeks.'"

Second and third opinions, however, can run up the cost of health care, which is especially problematic for people with bad or no coverage.

There's a man in Wisconsin who is probably hoping he's got good health care benefits, following a sneak attack at a hotel by his three mistresses and his wife, who successfully glued his penis to his stomach as revenge for his indiscretions.

"They were arrested, the judge gives them probation, three of the women apologize in front of the judge, the wife says nothing," Wiehl reported, outraged by the double standard. "Can you see a guy getting away with probation? No way!"

The real question, however, is what exactly a man would glue in retaliation? Thank goodness Bernard was on hand to provide, "You glue the mouth."

-Julie Kanfer