Chris Wallace Admits Something Looks Weird in His Fox Headshot

For a change, Imus greeted Chris Wallace warmly this morning, praising his classy behavior during Fox’s election night coverage on Tuesday. “You had your little slate board there, and you acknowledged that it was originated by Tim Russert,” Imus said, referring to the late newsman who, during the 2000 presidential election, famously used a dry-erase wipe board to explain what was going on numerically.
 
Imus therefore vowed never to be mean to Wallace again. Though he thanked Imus for his kind words, Wallace (accurately) predicted this goodwill would be short-lived.
 
At a press conference yesterday, President Obama did not, as Imus joked, tell Americans they were “likeable enough,” as he once did Hillary Clinton in 2008. Instead, the President iterated that he understand the message the country sent by electing 60 more Republicans to Congress.
 
“It really ends up becoming a question of, how does he do business?” Wallace said, and noted the “mainstream” media’s tendency to downplay the 60-seat pickup. “It’s bigger than Watergate, it’s bigger than Reagan in 1982, it’s bigger than the Gingrich revolution in 1994. This is the biggest turnover in seats in the House since Harry Truman in 1948.”
 
Imus wondered if, given the public’s repudiation of his agenda, Obama might come around to admitting the other side is right. “Why would he?” Wallace burst in, causing Imus to wonder if his guest was on amphetamines.
 
“That was two minutes exactly,” Charles said.
 
Continuing, and sounding a little bit like Rev. Jesse Jackson, Imus said of Obama, “I don’t think he has any respect for the opposition position.”
 
Obama should at least have political respect for the Republicans, Wallace observed, given their success at the polls. He told Imus the real headline from yesterday’s press event was Obama revealing he would negotiate to extend the Bush tax cuts “for rich people like you,” and that he would do away with cap-and-trade.
 
BoehnerHaving been insulted for no reason by someone who, it should be noted, ain’t working for free, Imus took the high road and focused on the waterworks display future House Speaker John Boehner gave on Tuesday night during a victory speech.
 
Quoting Charles, Imus said, “That sends a great message to Osama Bin Laden and others around the world: here’s a guy who’s third in line to be President, and he’s up there blubbering like he’s a baseball player retiring from the clubhouse.”
 
Wallace recognized Boehner’s “sentimental” nature, but assured Imus he’s plenty tough. Whether he’s tough enough to face Jon Stewart, as Wallace did last night, remains unknown.
 
As Imus prattled on about the genius of Stewart, Wallace, whose lineup for Fox News Sunday this week consists of I-Faves Reps. Eric Cantor and Darrell Issa, noted that he does, in fact, “have a couple of chins” in the picture the Fox Business Network displayed of him this morning.
 
“Yeah,” Imus said matter-of-factly. “You’re fat.”
 
And, we’re back.
 
-Julie Kanfer