Imus Takes Notes From Terrorists On Getting Bo To Shut Up

A sleep-deprived Bo Dietl all but slurred his way through this morning's appearance with Imus, first detailing his recent medical woes.

"My whole neck has arthritis, I've got a torn rotary cup, and arthritis in my shoulder," said Bo. "I can't sleep, and I don't want to take all those freakin' drugs they give you."

Yet he summoned the energy during the holiday season to visit his pals Jack and Suzy Welch at their Palm Beach, Florida home, and reported that the recently hospitalized Jack was feeling much better.

"I wonder what he got her for Christmas," said Imus. "A GPS device to keep track of her?"

Bo called Suzy "a special lady," and moved on to the somewhat more volatile topic of the attempted plane bombing on Christmas Day. Bo explained that PETN, which was sewn into the underwear of terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, is "probably one of the most highly explosive conventional explosives there is."

He then got on Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, whom he called "Imus's friend," for saying the system worked, when Abdulmutallab was never placed on a no-fly list in the U.S., and in fact had a valid visa.

"Our President has to realize this is really something that's happening, this is not a game," said Bo. "You can go to websites and find out where to buy PETN...it's readily available for any idiot who wants to become a terrorist."

Or for any idiot who has their own radio and television program.

"What if I wanted to buy some?" Imus wondered, looking for a means to cut Bo off. "Like, if I wanted to blow up this studio, for example, which would be one way to get out of this interview."

-Julie Kanfer