Mary Matalin Admits Her Husband Would Leave If She Gained 80 Pounds

Mary Matalin kicked off her appearance with Imus today by wishing everybody a "Happy Easter" and "Fabulous Good Friday!" Confused, Imus told his Catholic guest that Good Friday was a melancholy day because it recognized Christ dying for our sins.

"But didn't you Catholics rewrite everything because you weren't happy with the real story?" Imus asked.

Matalin, a famed Republican strategist, countered that while somber, Good Friday can also be a time to reflect. Then, Imus asked her if she works out in a public gym. Told that she does not, Imus launched into a story about his former trainer Cynthia Conde, whose Bridal Bootcamp show will premiere on CMT in June.

"She'd get some enormously fat woman who was going to get married, and somebody had already proposed to her in the condition she was in, being really obese," Imus explained. "So then the fat girl would lose over 100 pounds and get in shape to where she could bench press a Suburban, and then the guy who proposed to her in the first place...would break up with her because he got all paranoid!"

Matalin wondered whether this story had a point. "The point is, if you're a fat women or a fat guy and someone is willing to marry you, don't do anything!" Imus crowed. "They obviously love you for who you are."

He then politely informed his guest that were she to gain 80 pounds, her husband James Carville would be "out of there."

"Yeah, I know," Matalin said. "But I'd still love him if he gained 80 pounds."

The gym conversation was sparked by allegations a disgruntled New Jersey husband made in court documents that his wife met Bruce Springsteen at the gym, and the two had intimate relations "on too many occasions to actually document."

Matalin's reaction: "I'm going to presume it's not true. Even if it were, it's not illegal."

Shocked that this Catholic woman would defend adultery, Imus accepted Matalin's claim that she was attacking an overly-litigious society.

"I think in the good old days of American exceptionalism, which I still believe in, a man in that situation would take it right to the other man and deck him," she said. "That's how it works."

Following Matalin's description of how the recession has impacted the Matalin-Carville family ("it has made my husband crazier...but we have our house, we have our kids, we have our friends, so life is good"), Imus asked, "Did you know I have cancer?"

Matalin said she knew, and had already sent Imus a letter. "You're a testament to the power of prayer," she told her friend on this Good Friday. "Besides, nothing could live in you-no cancer, no nothing-because you're a cockroach!"

-Julie Kanfer