Laura Ingraham Is Our Hero

Laura Ingraham was fired up today as she joined Imus in studio, going off on everything from Tom Friedman to Desiree Rogers to, oddly, the White House vegetable garden.

Ingraham, one of the most popular radio hosts in the country, was sick of Tiger Woods and instead talked about the video of Tom Friedman at yesterday's jobs summit acting like a smitten teenager while chatting with President Obama.

"He was basically doing an Adam Lambert with the President of the United States," she said. "He might as well have done the entire exchange of fluids."

She went even further, suggesting that Friedman change the name of his popular book to "Hot, Flat, Crowded, and Sucking Up." As for the White House party crashers, Ingraham had some choice words for them, too.

"It doesn't surprise me that there's some chick and her fat husband who want to get into the White House," she said. "They should have been denied access for the poorly fitting tuxedo. He was like a bratwurst shoved into that thing!"

Desiree Rogers, the White House Social Secretary, was too busy socializing with the likes of music producer David Geffen to ensure this sort of security breach never happened. Or, as Imus put it, "She should have been standing there with a clipboard checking these losers in."

Instead, Ingraham said Rogers was likely whispering into Geffen's ear, "I see my name in lights. 'Desiree: The Musical!'" Imus supposed the Obamas would act much like Bill and Hillary Clinton, and ultimately throw Rogers under the bus, which Ingraham doubted.

"[Rogers] said in the Wall Street Journal, 'Brand Obama is the best brand in the world, and we have the White House, which is the crown jewel of that brand,'" said Ingraham.

The Obamas entire act, as she sees it, is all very "razzle-dazzle," including, somehow, Michelle Obama's vegetable garden. "I've never seen one vegetable garden get so much mileage," said Ingraham. "They have actual Christmas ornaments made out of the vegetables, and they've turned the vegetables into candy replicas. The whole thing is just bizarre."

But perhaps not as bizarre as sending 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan. While Ingraham supports Obama's decision, she didn't buy his speech.

"He didn't look like he had his heart in it," she said. "It was like someone else was controlling him from some other room."

Funny, we've been doing that on this program for years, and nobody's ever noticed.

-Julie Kanfer