Bo Dietl Talks Unemployment, Germany, and Urination

Bo Dietl was unwilling to divulge how much money he used to bet on football games, so instead he pressed Imus on how many drugs he used to use in one night.

"We'd go through two or three grams, at least," Imus freely provided, unhappy that Bo was being evasive. "Answer the question, or Charles and I will make you answer it."

Yet Bo still refused, on the grounds that "people are starving out there, and the economy is so bad." And also because he's not afraid of Imus and Charles, both of whom are in their sixties and, let's face it, on their way out the door.

On a serious and oddly logical note, Bo railed about the absurd amount of unemployment money the government pays out annually.

"It's costing $150 billion a year!" he screamed, and then provided staggering statistics that nobody verified: 26 percent of teenagers and 50 percent of African-Americans are unemployed. Ever the thinking man, Bo came up with a solution.

"You've got money in TARP — instead of just dishing out unemployment, train some of these unemployed for jobs," he said. "We've got bridges that are falling apart, we've got hospitals that are falling apart. Give them jobs, train them, and let them get jobs instead of just stuffing this money around!"

While we hate to admit this, Bo makes some good sense. He then threatened to slap the glasses off of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, at which point Imus changed topics, asking Bo about "the latest" on the 9/11 terrorists' trials to be held in New York City.

"The biggest part of this case was the development of this cell out of Germany, the country of my father's birth that I really couldn't give a flying hell about," said Bo. "They executed eight million Jewish people, now they're afraid of the death penalty over there in Germany! So they're sending a team over here to make sure these little terrorists don't get the death penalty."

Bo advised the President to "wake up" and push this trial back to Guantanamo, where the 9/11 planners would surely be convicted and "fried." Someone else who should be executed, in Bo's opinion, is Larry David. In a recent episode of HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, David accidentally urinated on a painting of Jesus Christ.

"Where's Media Matters with this guy urinating on a picture of my guy Jesus Christ before his birthday?" Bo asked, referring to a so-called "watchdog" website that frequently bitches about stuff Bo says.

As Imus giggled, Bo became enraged. "Is this humor? It makes you laugh?" he asked. "Let him spray some pee-pee on the Koran, see what happens! How about a mezuzah? You'll see my Jewish friends come out in arms!"

It was definitely time to go when Bo, who is pushing 60, threw out the term "pee-pee."

-Julie Kanfer