Even With A Head Cold, Paul Begala's Sick In The Head

Paul Begala has quite a resume. First, he helped get Bill Clinton elected President, and then he worked in the Clinton White House. Now he teaches at Georgetown University, gives speeches around the country, and is planning a peaceful overthrow of the U.S. government to turn it into a socialist republic. Or something.

Begala was upbeat despite suffering from a head cold. He made the mistake of asking Imus how he was doing, which resulted in an intense few minutes discussing holistic cancer treatments, integrative medicine, and their mutual man-love for Dr. Dean Ornish.

Attempting to bring the discussion back to politics, Begala assured the I-Man all of his efforts to battle prostate cancer would be covered by the Democrats' health plan.

Further proving what an absolute lackey he is, Begala said that even though his CNN colleague Lou Dobbs was leaving the network, the shill taking his place, John King, is "as good as reporter I've ever come across."

To Imus's suggestion that along with being "the most trusted name in news" CNN is also the least viewed, Begala said, "More people want to see a car wreck than a Picasso."

Moving on (finally), Begala applauded President Obama for holding off on defining last week's Ft. Hood shootings as a religious act of terrorism. The gunman, Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan, was allegedly tied to a radical Muslim cleric, and there has been pressure on the President to classify Hasan's horrific act.

"Obama got in trouble for a very minor police skirmish when he took sides without knowing all the facts," said Begala, referring to last summer's incident between Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and a Cambridge, Mass. police officer. "I think it's really wise for him to hang back until we know what we know."

Begala wants this event to be fully investigated, and not just because the radical Muslim cleric in question had been based at a mosque near Begala's house in Virginia.

"Hasan was in touch with him," said Begala. "I'd like to know what those contacts were, whether this was some act of terrorism motivated by radical Islam, or whether it was just a criminal act."

He's all for finger-pointing, which is exactly why we love him. "It's really just a way of having accountability," said Begala. "I want it. I want to know. But I don't want my president jumping out there before we have all the facts."

Imus, however, was willing to jump into the jury pool for the trials of the alleged 9/11 masterminds, which will take place in New York City.

"Let me on that jury," he said. "Call me now!"

-Julie Kanfer