Bo Dietl On Columbus Day, Bin Laden, And Gays In the Military

Who better to represent his Italian brethren on Columbus Day than the one and only Bo Dietl? Probably millions of other people, but Bo was scheduled to appear, so we didn't have much of a choice.

He defended his people by naming successful Italians like and Joseph Grano and Dick Grasso, both recent guests on this program. But Imus was distracted by something shiny on Bo's jacket.

"You're the only person I've ever seen with an American flag lapel pin with diamonds in it," Imus said to his flamboyant guest.

Bo quickly corrected the I-Man: his American flag pin contained not just diamonds, but rubies, sapphires, and white gold. As if that made things better.

"I wear it every day and I'm proud to be an American!" said Bo. He gave a similar pin to Neil Cavuto, but Cavuto has yet to wear it. "Maybe he thinks it's too showy, but to me, to love your country is not too showy."

Bo then wandered slightly off the reservation, talking about the forthcoming book called Growing Up Bin Laden, written by the first wife and fourth son of Osama Bin Laden.

"If his children smiled where he could see their teeth, he'd take a cane and beat them across the head," Bo shared. "And little puppy dogs! He used to take a litter, and they'd gas little puppy dogs."

The one-eyed Taliban leader Mullah Omar has reappeared lately, "tan, rested, and bigger than ever," according to Imus. Bo, however, was too busy employing an undecipherable analogy about the United States as a bicycle with a wooden wheel and a steel wheel, and how this somehow related to Israel.

Like a gnat, Bo was quickly distracted by Imus making fun of New Jersey Gubernatorial candidate Chris Christie, who, naturally, is Bo's "friend."

"He's an arrogant, fat moose," said Imus, who refuses to have Christie on this program because "we don't have a forklift available."

Before he left, Bo graced us with his thoughts on "no ask, don't tell," warning Imus that Bill White might glance at his "little Willie Wonka" if the two were to ever shower together while serving in the Army.

"A lot of people would stare at it," said Imus. "If I may say, it's a marvelous sight."

Gross.

-Julie Kanfer